Barbarius Pretentaloni

Meet Babs. Aka Barbara, aka the Iron Puss, aka the Ball Buster, aka the Biggest Bitch in Town, Babs makes being pretentious a sport. She goes to EVERYTHING she’s invited to. She would go to the opening of an envelope. She is the meanest bird on the block. Every morning after her laxative kicks in, she chugs a glass of room-temperature prune juice. Then she does Pilates and pelvic floor exercises in a T-shirt that reads “Judging You.” She wears a camel toe cup under her Prana leggings because she was body-shamed by the president of the Junior League. She has a string of emasculated ex-husbands and is currently engaged to a gay man. Babs lives in a nest in the most expensive neighborhood and has a sterling silver keychain flaunting her zip code. She can drink gallons of chardonnay unphased and has a secret cigarette habit. Her email sig line reads “Happiness is Expensive.” Babs may have had many husbands, but she has never had an orgasm. Avoid Babs but stay on her good side! Babs is dangerous, pretentious, and mean as a snake. 

Dimensions: 12 x 12in | 30.48 x 30.48cm on 3in | 7.62cm gallery-wrapped canvas - acrylic paint and mixed media covered in heavy resin.